fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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