She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
