I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
