i just had sex bonerless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's the barista slut.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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