making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
