I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
