So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
