I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize