Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
