he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
