You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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