There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
