I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
