I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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