I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
