well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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