If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize