Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
