Dual....:-)
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I didn't notice because vodka
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
