So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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