I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize