I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
