I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Shame - the story of my life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
