So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
