I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
