A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
