His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Welp...herpes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
