I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
