She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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