Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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