I think my vagina is haunted
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
