evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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