Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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