I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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