no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
