in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
