it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
