dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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