Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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