Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
