God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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