that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This is my gift to your gina
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
