Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
