pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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