you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
