everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
