I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
