A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
