I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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