He disabled his match.com account in front of me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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