i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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