I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm both gender and math confused
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
